It's Meant To Hurt...

(Podcast is the extended version of this blog post ;)

I spent the day at the tattoo shop.. 

I always get incredible messages regarding pain like this on those days..

 And you know what I love about being there? 

The process of becoming.

Taking an idea, playing with it, going through hella hella pain, then..

Voila!

Art.

The same could be said of anything worth anything in life.

Especially creating a passion driven FUCK YES soul aligned business.

It’s meant to hurt a little.

It’s uncomfortable as fuck,

and one of the only things that I ever worry about when i’m sharing my message,

is that I feel like sometimes I only share the magickal shit..

And don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty of it, but it’s not the whole story.

I rarely talk about how I have worked my ass off to get to where I am and I’m still NOWHERE CLOSE to where I know I’m meant to be..

I rarely ever talk about how I show up, even when I don’t want to.

I rarely ever talk about how sometimes I get confused,

I get frustrated,

I hesitate,

I don't show up physically, more energetically, and then…

I pivot.

I know I talk about my pivots, they are pretty clear if you pay attention you can tell when the magick is fully fucking activated after one,

But what about what catalyzed that pivot?

It’s those moments when you can feel you’re evolving and suddenly nothing you’re doing makes sense.

Everything that was true yesterday becomes irrelevant today..

And all you really have (which is all you really need) is that one anchor point that you know and trust will lead you to what it’s now supposed to be like now, what it must be,

as long as you remember to connect to that instead of what the path said it was supposed to be yesterday.

And when you don’t,

It’s supposed to hurt.

It’s supposed to hurt enough for you to realize you’re off path so you’ll have no choice but to come back to that anchor point..

And sometimes it even hurts when you’re on path and you’re in the process of shifting your identity for the vision to expand.

The consciousness that is trying to scurry around and get all of the pieces laid down from the limited consciousness of who you were yesterday,

who created the reality that today makes you think you don’t have access to the truth of who you really are,

who makes you think that resources, time, money, people are limited…

That LOVE is limited,

That creativity is out of reach,

That what you yearn for inside of you is some mystical thing that you only get to access once you’ve figured out that one thing that you’ll do forever.

The same consciousness that hasn’t made being in the flow of magick and accessing superconscious levels of genius, insight, power

NON Fucking Negotiable.

So damn right it hurts.

AND the cool thing is that as you keep going, as you keep honoring, loving, showing up for yourself even through the chaos of becoming,

The time and energy that you invest into that place of confusion, frustration, hesitation, becomes infinitesimally less. It’s barely perceivable, while at the same time,

it’s such a wild distortion,

that you notice it right away,

and you actually get excited because you know what’s coming next.

You no longer see those things as problems and need fixed and inconvenient things that you need to hurry up and get rid of so you can get on with the getting there.

Rather they are the gold,

they are the catalyst to a greater expansion-

confusion becomes curiosity,

frustration becomes passion,

hesitation/procrastination becomes making space for the magick and the vision to reveal itself to you while you continue to show up for the things you know are non negotiable for you to access and express that magick -

Which can look and feel a lot like, showing up even when you don’t want to.

And yeah,

It’s gonna hurt a little.

But at the end of the day, you get to look back and know,

showing up even when you didn’t wanna,

getting started,

pivoting when it didn’t make sense to the logical mind to do so....

That hurt a lot less than going through the rest of your life thinking,

“I could have created this epic thing,

I could have had this impact,

I could have expressed my magick,

I could have showed up a lot more…

But I just didn’t feel like it. “

Xx
Astrid